From Fear of the Suspect to Real Caring –
The first time I saw him on the TV I remember he seemed kinda dazed. He was wearing a jail outfit and had just been arrested the night before for murdering my son Marc. I could barely stomach watching the screen and walked back down the hall to get out of reach of the blaring TV speakers the others were listening to.
‘What a miserable life’, I was feeling, ‘how much more of this can I take?! I’d been woken at 2:43 AM that morning by one of the detectives letting us know that Wesley and another guy had been arrested. It both comforted us as well as helped our family be forewarned re: any news that may come out on TV, papers. I was sorta interested in who did it but I was so drained, I could not process things well, so I passed on listening to the reporters words as I understood I’d have many days ahead to get used to Wesley’s face.
The next morning a family member found the photos of the 2 suspects on the internet, & I didn’t know if I could look. I thought I’d feel anger, or throw something at the screen, but I was surprised to see that Wesley looked more like he could have been Marc’s cousin or something. He didn’t seem to have a menacing attitude about him, I felt he was just looking around at people like an innocent youth wondering ‘what’s going on here’. The other guy though seemed to glower out at the camera with some evil intention in his eye, and we quickly thought of him as the ‘bad’ one.
At the bail hearing for the main suspect in Dec. ’14, I heard Wesley’s lawyer say Wesley did not want to sign the paper having to do with the right to a Bail Hearing. I thought, ‘well, I guess he’s got a mind of his own and doesn’t just do things to save time or whatever’, so I thought that was good for some reason. After seeing the main defendant in court I had a good feeling that these guys weren’t super mean criminals but just ‘lost boys’. The crime was not premeditated like we thought originally. It helped me deal with the whole matter better, so I felt lot less fearful about the future of the ordeal and bringing them to justice. It eased my heart to sorta understand how Marc could have gotten involved with them in the first place.
I’ve already shared my meeting with Wesley last Christmas, it was like another piece of the puzzle came together …. and inside I was thinking, ‘Oh. God, how can this be happening? Is it really okay to spend time with him and like him?’ Part of me was a mom who’s GOT to make sure her son’s life has meaning, a legacy. Part of me was wondring if I’m going to make a fool of myself by pursuing clarity with the defendant?
Anyway, after meeting in Dec., we hugged. As I’ve mentioned before, Marc and I are law and order people who believe people should take the consequences for what they do, and Wesley is paying the price for having a minor role in the crime. I know he’s a different guy now and I keep him in my prayers. I’m glad it’s not so scary knowing him, so relieved I don’t have to have feelings of hate towards him. God’s expanded my life to love even more than I ever thought possible because of this crime.
This is my prayer for those out there who’re dealing with a crime against them or their loved ones …. check out your inner self and ask what the real goal should be? People will watch you and become better or worse. Don’t excuse wrong, hold the person or the system accountable for what was done. Help people to do the work to correct themselves. Never give up the fight for right! You may save a life!
The Fray – ‘How to Save a Life’ –