It’s never boring dealing with the defendants after the crime. Each new stage of healing takes me to a place of more gratitude but also more awareness, cause I never thought life would be continually going thru flux due to Marc’s case like it is! I wrote letters to the main defendant for awhile. This last year I’ve been getting to know the lesser offender.
Wesley is homeless again because there’s problems with family since the crime, and his girlfriend broke up with him. It’s taken us months to arrive at a relationship based on normal trust. I had to make sure I was not getting close to someone who was using me, like some people warned. I wanted to be sure my motives were honest too, as the crime has had such a huge impact on my life! I don’t want to use him either.
On my last trip to PDX I got to visit with him again, we’d been communicating via Facebook Messenger for several months at a distance of 1,000 miles. When I saw him coming down Third Avenue I could tell he was anxious about seeing me. I waved from the corner of Jefferson and saw him smile, it was a relief! It’s still hard to see him as I think of Marc too, and the incident, but I believe I’m doing what Marc would want.
Wesley’s originally from Oregon City but was living I guess downtown at the time of the murder. Now he’s on the East side. I’ve served in homeless ministries for several years, and so my thoughts always run to ‘how’s he going to survive in that lifestyle’? He’s got tons of friends on Facebook and wherever, but really needs that adult input …. we all need strong resources in life cause our best intentions will fail us if we’re left to our own devices. I helped him procure something recently, I was happy he was very grateful. It was good to be able to give someone hope in life!
It’s taken awhile to work thru the memories of the crime, as I still miss Marc so much every day! I’ve asked myself what my motives were in getting closer to Wesley, cause I know I like to ‘help’ others, and Wesley’s a stranger to me, from a lifestyle I don’t participate in. But he’s a totally delightful, normal young man who’s had some bad luck happen to him in such a young life, and the time I spend on him is not a burden. And I don’t wish the crime against my son to ruin another’s life too. I’ve read of other cases where victims families have befriended the offender. I want good to come for Marc and God’s sake!
I have a close friend who’s pretty as a model. She was raped and almost murdered some years ago. After tying and raping her the guy lay in wait for her kids to come home but fortunately he got scared and fled! You’d never think anyone like her could suffer a rape or be threatened with death! Anyway, she has no rapport with her offender, so I’m very grateful for the defendants in Marc’s case.
I have a newer acquaintance who’s son was murdered in Portland over a year ago, but there’s not even a suspect. I’m sorry my friends don’t have the same peace I have. It’s such a huge blessing to have Marc’s case solved, and to see good come from such a terrible crime. I’m so thankful to God.
It’s a ‘mom’ thing for me as well, I know how my mothers heart works. I appreciate that Wesley will share certain things with me, trusts me. He shares some good and bad things, people in his life, other concerns. He’s had some good upbringing, some friends he values, but he doesn’t know the next step that well. To know how far he’s come since the crime makes me proud of him. He could be a whiner, bitter, a manipulator but he’s got a good amount of hope …. and not from getting ‘high’ on drugs, alcohol. I like to see young people in this day and age get their bearings. I’m glad the crime has ‘legs’. I’m learning a lot of humility, patience, trusting God in this.