I’ve been so busy with the trip up, work related issues and just dealing with the changes in the case that I haven’t written that much. I don’t like being gone from the blog. I’ve been restricted in what I could share about the case, but now I’m so relieved I can share more. When…
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Portland Visit
My trip back to Portland turned out to be such a joy! I wasn’t sure what to expect going back there …. walking the streets where Marc had walked …. living in the home he’d lived in …. looking out over the city like he would daily. I made plans to visit certain people and…
Living With Flashbacks
When you go thru such a terrible loss, alot of people have flashbacks to the distant past or the actual incident. It’s the same with me. My mind and heart pour over life incidents from every age. It’s hard to deal with some recall, it’s still too painful to share. But the good memories, the…
No Wasted Words
I have no interest in sharing about Marc’s accomplishments …. it’s just not the world he or I dwelled in. What kind of job he had, how creative or funny he might have been…. any awards or certificates he may have had …. what do they mean now? What are they worth in eternal terms?…
Limbo
A family goes thru various phases when dealing with a murder case. For couple months we’ve been in a ‘limbo’ stage, waiting for perhaps one or both defendants to enter a plea as vs. their going to trial, and facing a jury. Been very quiet from the defendants and I’m told that’s the norm in…
Another Holiday Passes
Easter (Passover) – On many levels Marc was a consumate friend as well as son. Every day I tell God how grateful I am for having had the experience of knowing such a wonderful person, great son and friend! Marc was so trustworthy, I always felt safe with him. He’s never tried to use or…
Never Alone
The thing that happened to Marc is still so unbelievably horrible! Every day I have times when I just cannot believe it happened! But each day I also find more love from others out there, more about the case, or God’s plan for me during all this. My whole understanding of life will never be the same…
Truth in Mourning
As I mourned for my son Marc, I tried to be honest about how I grieved. I knew if I didn’t deal in reality about my loss, if I hated the defendants or developed fear about death or the murderer… I’d be a “goner.” I’d end up half alive, (or half dead.) I could visualize…
Texting to Heaven
Soon after Marc left this earth I started wondering what mode of communication we were having? It just seemed so natural to be able to freely talk to him whenever I wanted, and really ‘know’ he was listening to me. The best mode I can relate to would be that I’m sending Marc a text…
I Wish
It’s been rather quiet legally re: Marc’s case. I have a ‘victims advocate’ who is a big help with general questions, issues. I’m not at liberty to share much at all about the defendants or the proceedings until things are finalized in the court. Basically, it’s a waiting game for the defendants to decide to enter…