One of the hard lessons about having your child go ahead of you in death is that most people don’t care about your “pain”! When my son was murdered I had justice on my mind constantly. I felt like a warrior with a mission to slay an enemy. The problem was, no one at the…
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Meeting With Detectives, Others in PDX
It was so good to return to Portland recently, the city where Marc lived and was killed. Often we hold memories of a person, event or place in our hearts and they seem ‘locked’ into place. That city has been a place of both great joy and terrible pain, several times I wondered how I’d…
PTSD Reflections on Memorial Day, 2016
Someone told me after Marc’s tragedy I was going thru PTSD. Maybe you or someone you know has come back from Afghanistan or suffered from a violent attack? On Memorial Day I re-read some early entries I wrote after Marc was murdered. I also listened to stories of how Vet’s recovered from their tours in…
Powerful Healing Tears
My life continues to revolve alot around the legacy of my son Marc. I’ve chalked up observations this past year and a half on dealing with life after death of a child who still means so much to me. I’ve really had to be keenly watchful for healing insights on my journey. One of my…
A Mom Mourning & Celebrating Her Son D’Andre
Sometimes on my journey with Marc’s legacy I get blessed by people out of my sphere of regular life. I just discovered a sister with a keen insight into what I’m dealing with re: Marc. Keonna Jackson lost her only son D’Andre Dickerson in a similar fashion as me. We both lost sons to murder…
Je Suis Tired Of It
Losing a loved one due to an act of violence makes you very aware of how one act of violence affects not only the victim but their family and society at large. The horrible attacks in Brussels are not going to be the end of attacks, you know. We must accept that for awhile…
Easter, 2016
HAPPY EASTER ! Early this morning I felt Marc was trying to get my attention. It was like he was saying to me, ‘Mom, come up here with me and look at the Easter celebration from my point of view!’ At the Good Friday service the other night I listened to a dramatization about some…
The Reagans, (Not) The End of an Era
I watched most of Nancy Reagan’s funeral on TV last Friday. It took place at the Reagan Museum which overlooks a quiet valley in a city near my home. It was her personal wish to have the service simple, yet it was dignified enough for a head of states wife, I thought. It’s interesting how…
Judging Others or Assessing What’s Right
Some people like to go around saying we must not ‘judge’ others’. Years ago you would not hear that so much, you’d just know’ judging’ was wrong. What’s bothering me is that I’m hearing people so quick to criticize someone in the most innocent circumstance and claim the other person is ‘judging’. I’ve been a…
Still a Bitter Pill
“Blessed is he who’s not offended.” I can never get used to Marc being gone! On one hand I’m a good girl and am listening to God’s voice to continue on with life. I’m not always sad or crying when I meet people during the day like I used to be. My mind is being…