From time to time in my life I’ve thought about heaven. Many of us have sung songs about it, watched films dipicting angels and heard people talk about their near-death experiences. We hear parents tell their children that their pets or grandma are in heaven. I’ve listened to what people have shared, read the Bible and since…
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A Hard Question
When you’re the parent of a child taken so suddenly and brutally, part of your first days is spent going over all the ways it could have happened! In between the shock and sadness, your mind races around looking for answers to the ‘how’ question. You need answers, your heart and mind both ache for some…
Final Farewell and The ‘D’ Words
I feel a deep pang when I start to talk about Marc sometimes. I can talk about my desire for justice, or the details of the defendants or court stuff. But when it comes to saying the ‘D’ words …. ‘death, died, dead’ …. it seems so alien, painful! I feel mad! Death doesn’t have…
An Inspiration To Be Around
I don’t know about others, but with the shock of losing a child so suddenly and brutally, my life has changed dramatically. Having to go thru Marc’s effects made me think of not only his life span but my own. These past couple months I don’t have alot of the old cultural ambitions that we all tend…
A Changed Life
Sat., Jan 17 – I’ve wondered if other parents who’ve lost a child by violent crime have gone thru what I have. I’m sure there are similarities. When I flew back to L.A. to deal with Marc’s Memorial, life ‘after’, I felt so odd when I’d go into a store where there were strangers. Something in…
Thoughts on the Christian Afterlife
Sat, 1/10/15 – One important thing for me to do in this blog is to bring up the subject of the Christian afterlife. After Marc left this earth I wondered what he was doing in heaven? I wasn’t frantically worried if there was a place but just wondering what his life was about? I don’t know…
A ‘Purifying’ Gift
Friday, Jan. 9, 2015 – I’m writing this with the utmost respect for Marc, but death can be a ‘purifying’ force in ones life. Deep loss can trigger changes in loved ones on earth that are very positive. Some things in my life just aren’t that important to me any more. After Marc left I started feeling ashamed…
Dealing With Grief
Thursday, January 1, 2015 – The Bail Hearing a week ago opened up the can of grief again. I think it’s important to deal with my mourning so that it doesn’t become this quiet pain or shame I live thru alone. I don’t want to create a barrier between others and I don’t want to lose my…
“No Bail” Allowed
Thursday, Dec. 25 – There’s quiet Christmas music playing, and I’m crying again. I’m playing one of my favorite Xmas CD’s, this one song is “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”. Every word punctuates the air with sadness. Marc and I were so involved in music, how can this love of ours be so painful now?! You’re supposed…
Bail Hearing Soon
Dear Readers: My posts have slowed down for only a short while as we just found out at the beginning of the week the Bail Hearing for the defendants was pushed forward, and so will be held during the Christmas week! The date was changed a couple times due to scheduling conflicts of the participants, but, wow,…